live, and die, naked.

what goes around

2008-12-12T00:56:00.002+08:00

This will be one of the last few posts in shawnsaddiction. Moving, when i am less lazy and more motivated. Reason: 1) Popout and spam occurences on this blog 2) Feel a need for a new simpler colour scheme 3) Feel a need for a change, no motivation to blog here anymore, dunno why.

Hmm, any pro computer personnel pls pm me. Me noobish at computer / tech shit. Gasp eveen at creating a blog i think i may have some problems. Hurhur...

' :)

2008-11-23T20:56:00.002+08:00

There should be more Rorschach's in this world.

21 OLD

2008-11-13T23:58:00.000+08:00

In two days time, iam gonna turn 21. In the words of summer roberts, "Ew."

cramp 2

2008-11-05T20:38:00.002+08:00

My prophecies of a more motivated and enriching life has never come true. I say, but i never do. Or, i do, but some where down the road, i give up or something bricks my path. It's like Guns N Roses Chinese Democracy, just that even Guns has released the single after like a zillion years. God i hate myself.

Self loathing is prevalent, and iam jumping on the fucking bandwagon.

cramp

2008-11-04T00:38:00.002+08:00

And they say men are the ones who always lies. Pfffffttt. Too many instances ive' seen and experienced, my fairer sex. This is the last straw.

Sorry just had to get this off my chest. I know this is totally not my style.

captain ass backwards

2008-10-27T23:44:00.004+08:00

Sometimes iam so ass backwards that it scares me. For example, i only just recently got wind of internet phenomenon "star wars kid" which has been around for ages. I laughed till i cried after watching that video. Definetely in my top ten funniest moments ever. The part near the end where he goes crazy with the pesudo lightsaber was GOLD. But non star wars groupies and non schadenfreude's might not fully appreciate it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPPj6viIBmU

And the remix, which is also funny like hell.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GJOVPjhXMY&feature=related

To quote one youtubian's comment, "all my life i thought there was nothing worth living for until i saw this"

I second that completely. This kinda things makes life worth living for. What's some hooey like money, sex or shoes. Those are just essentials, not things that adds an unexpected dash of flavour into your life. Why are there so few people that share this kind of thinking?

Another reason why i feel that my butt is on backwards is cause i only just realised that the Smashing Pumpkins are for ack of a better word, smashing. Been rocking out to them since, you know, making up for lost time. I gotta give kudos to the Watchmen trailer for my new found love for this band. Watchmen looks like a super movie. Going to keep it on my radar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3orQKBxiEg

House parties are so fun. God i love youtube. Hozah.

womanizer

2008-10-22T21:53:00.004+08:00

After another monotonous day at camp "slit my throat pls", i was surprised to find humour when i least expected it. Three instances in fact, and it gave me the strength and courage to carry on. I know iam a little drama mama here but whatever. Hurhur. Hur.

Instance 1

While on the way to coffeeshop for dinner, i saw this two small girls, no older then 5, playing with small white balloons. One held up two and brandished it around. The other commented: "eeee, nehneh pok". Both laughed. And they say iam dirty minded. At such a young age, tsk tsk.

Instance 2

I saw this guy whose t-shirt wrote. 'Fat people are harder to kidnap'. HAHA.

Instance 3

Received a super random sms from friend. "Watching Max Payne now... my popcorn lao hong... ):" LOL.

To whoever is reading, if your life sucks like mine, try finding that little bit of humour. It helps (:

I can't get womanizer outta my head. It's one of those songs where you go blah, its an ok song at first. But after listening to it more, it becomes like a leech seed spewn from Bulbusaur which attaches itself to your brain.

ghostbusters for hire

2008-10-15T21:48:00.003+08:00

My fucking bunk is HAUNTED la what the hell.

-_-

politics just got hotter

2008-10-12T22:53:00.003+08:00

Iam not one to dwell into politics and all that government anti-legislation cabinet bullshit but something or rather, someone, has piqued my interest recently.

Senator Palin brings the word MILF to a whole new level. Women in specs are too hot. Omg i think this a new fetish.

zzz

2008-10-11T10:05:00.002+08:00

Eh JENNN. Thanks ah. Nvr do that EVER again please? Ok this is a public plea. Happy?

eh arsehole

2008-10-09T18:20:00.003+08:00

Walking zombie = me

Mofo trying to get a attitude but fails miserably = me

Zealot who thinks its really dumb to book back into camp at 1130 pm just to sleep inside = me

Probrably leading a better life then me = you

Somene probrably leading a better life then you or me= jay-z

Hova!

hi again

2008-10-07T23:12:00.002+08:00

I have finally figured it out. The key to me surviving the next year and a half is just to kick, push and coast. I learned this from Lupe Fiasco. No need for any scallywagging and much derision of the brain. I mean what the fuck can i do? I can't earn money working. I can't study. I can't do squadoosh. So i'll just take the measly 500 bucks and run with it. Have fun. Coast. Until i hit something and it goes spiralling outta control again. Woot.

I realised that this has been the longest hiatus yet. Life been pretty repetitive, yet fun. Sounds kinda weird, but iam not yet bored of this repetitive-ness so its all good. However, i feel that i need to get in touch with some old homies like the Poly Bunch. The random club hangout bunch. The depressive yet sunshine filled bunch. ;) I shall meet you all soon! All of me and my bad army hair! (:

you can never have the best of both worlds

2008-08-23T00:53:00.002+08:00

You can never have the best of both worlds. Ever.

Yelena Isinbaeva has nicer abs then me.

Usain Bolt is a freak(of nature). Hope he is dope free though.

I need to train my abs harder so that they are better than Yelena Isinbaeva's abs.

Twins are cute. The hard part comes when you have to choose.

This is one of those posts where iam too lazy to type in paragraphs. Pardon me please?

The official bread judge, Kuroyanagi, evolving into Super Kuroyanagi after eating immensely delicious bread

2008-08-14T21:59:00.002+08:00

Super Toro Aburi! Super Kuro Aburi! Super Kuroyaburi!

Super Kuroyanagi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok iam a little high from watching Yakitake! Japan so pardaon me. Only the third anime i have ever watched in my life besides slam dunk and pokemon. Hoho. Damn funny la. Here is a short except of what the show is all about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pg-lSQlSUnY

Ok off to watch more!

lil ze and benny

2008-08-13T01:36:00.003+08:00

Some jokers from long long time ago came up with this saying(i think). "As you grow older, you become more mature". My reply to that saying, which many thinks is true, is... BOLLOCKS!

Ok iam not saying there is not a maturing curve but that in my opinion comes when you are born and ends at 21 tops. After that, the mindset is pretty much set. You can't get any more maturer. Just like there is no such word as maturer. That's why i don't find people who are older then me more mature in any sense. Don't ever give me the "iam older thus iam more mature in my mindset" bullshit, iam not buying it.

Why this random topic? Cause i've seen recently how some so called adults behave and it disgusts me how childish in a real world sense, not in a joking and fooling around sense( like yours truly) they can be. Sheesh.

Oh and btw, Cidade de Deus a.k.a as City of God, kicks major ass. It boggles my mind. Yeah, that was how good it was. But i have always been fascinated by power struggles so it appealed to a greater level to me. And the insight into the lives of people living in the slums of Brazil really shocks and awes. Definately a film you must catch before you die.

hair story

2008-07-31T19:22:00.002+08:00

This is a hair story in one paragraph.

As i was in the salon waiting for my haircut, i flipped through those japanese hairstyle mags. I see all the guy models with all their nice jappish long hair and got depressed.

-a hair story

i've got a hunger, twisting my stomach into knots

2008-07-27T01:45:00.002+08:00

Weekends are so precious to me now. How precious? As precious as bananas to monkeys. As precious as the one ring to Gollum. As precious as an anti-depressant to a sucidal person. You get my drift. Weekends, my love, my preciousssssssss, i have under-rated you too much in the past. Please forgive me?

Weekends: (in a cute sing-song voice) you have took me for granted in the past, but i forgive you now!

-_-

I just realised i haven eaten bananas in a long time. NO it doesn't mean i have bowel problems for over analytical smarty farts. i just miss the taste, shape and texture of a banana as well as the peeling process. Ok forget i just said that it sounds abit wrong. Peace out!

that aussie tang

2008-07-14T21:51:00.003+08:00

When you are sitted in a dentist esque reclining chair in an enclosed room for the first time, where 4 female medical personel( two hot) are gathered around you to examine your exposed foot, what are you supposed to say when the podiatrist(hot) asks you, "why do you look so tense?".

My gormless and totally uncool answer.

"Uh, really?(pause) Ok."

oh crap

2008-07-13T22:22:00.002+08:00

Holey Shamokes! I see cobwebs and thick layers of dust covering my blog. So, i've decided to tidy up a bit, you know, for shits and giggles.

Hmm where to begin. Ok i know. Firstly my life reeks like Fat Bastard's farts because of you know what. You know, THAT organization. Wasting my life and time away. Hard to see a positive aspect of my life now except getting mc to escape going into camp. HAI... Weekends is seriously all i live for now. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Ok i shall stop complaining like a self involved little be-yotch.

I really like Hellboy 2. It has all the imprints of one of my favourite all time movies, Pan's Labyrinth or El Laberinto Del Fauno. And the big red devil is a real badass. 4/5 easily.

Cant wait for the Dark Knight! Peace out.

"this city deserves a better class of criminal" -joker

the squirtle and the mare

2008-05-24T23:04:00.002+08:00

Holy snaps! I haven touched the blogger heavens for sooooooo long. Like one month already sia la. Lazy mah, cause kanna tekan many many by chao cheebye commanders very the tired. This is how i talk now after being in the army for more than 2 months. No serious. Ok not so serious. Pardon me if my english has detiorated(sp) or if i have loads of spelling mistakes. Fo' this, iam not joking.

Hmmmm since iam not really allowed to divulge much info about the army, i would just say that recruit Shawn Neo Wei Qi is doing fine. But Rec Neo is kind of in a bit of mambo jambo, dilemma so to speak. But no fear, Rec Shawn will soldier(!) on. WHY THE FUCK AM I SPEAKING IN THE THIRD PERSON! Hohooooooo. Sorry if i seem cranky but that is just how the whistle blows now that my brain is being severely un-used. Plus, iam freaking tired and have at least 20 mosquito bites on my leg. Is my blood that succulent that mozzzies treat my leg as their personal Jack's place? Itchy like hell. And MOPIKO no use one lo. Fucks.

2 more week plus plus more to POP! Boredom, mundane-ness and general stupidity be gone!!!

digital stitch

2008-04-20T12:26:00.002+08:00

Like a pie put in to bake.

Ho-hum. This is too boring. Must endure.

Creak goes thy hams.

Resistance is futile.

Blank. (till june 10)

PS: Forbidden Kingdom is a sucky show. English + Ancient China= Bollocks and Pop-out moles. Highlight of film = KungFu Hustle girl.

back to reality for nanoseconds

2008-04-06T16:16:00.002+08:00

School is better then work. Work is better then the army. The army can NEVER be better then anything. BALLS AND BOLLOCKS!

The phrase 'too cool for school' should be outlawed for male homo sapiens in Singapore. Cause if you're too cool for school, good luck in the army.

"We all live in a yellow submarine... a yellow submarine..."

eat turds

2008-03-21T00:26:00.002+08:00

Iam back. For a day at least. THANK GOD FOR GOOD FRIDAY! Its gonna be my third favourite holiday from now on.

So what can i say about the reason ive' been gone? Utterly pointless and stupid as expected before, only multipied by 100. Seriously la, like screaming and shouting like animals, moving like robots and drinking water till your bladder bursts will teach me discipline, leadership and life lessons likedat. Pffft. I admit la, the physical training is great but the rest is just pure unadulterated dumbness. Oh well, what to do? Just have to grin and bear it and hope it flies by quick like sleeve of wizard flapping in the wind.

Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people

hair here gone tomorrow

2008-03-13T23:13:00.001+08:00

'you're a part time lover and a full time friend' (:

THIS IS THE OFFICIAL VERSION OF BYEBYE WORLD, IAM OFF TO 'SERVE' THE COUNTRY.

training day minus the cool gansta' bravado

2008-03-12T01:21:00.003+08:00

Two more days, and i will be forced to ship my ass to the army. 2 years of useless(based on friend's experiences) and time wasting service. There's only one word to describe this atrocity. Fuck.

In case this is my last post before i book myself in, i wanna say, bye bye world. ):
And say hello to the shittiest botak head person in town!

hi bye?

2008-03-05T21:49:00.004+08:00

Sometime's the unlikeliest people say the unlikeliest things. And those are the words that hits you hard and makes you go 'woah'. Like i was chillin' today as usual at my usual 'higher than the other two office chairs' chair when the middle aged singlet-slipper pool guy a.k.a the one who cleans the swimming pool, checks if chlorine content doesnt discolour skin etc guy comes asks me when iam going into army. After i gave my usual lethagic "14 of march, one week left" reply, he gave the shortest and coolest answer ive' heard in a long time. He simply said, "play hard ah" before giving a smile and walking away. As he walked away, i swore i saw the wind picking up and kung fu music playing in his wake. You know the times when someone becomes 100 times more handsome? This was one of those times.

*This short ancedote has NO gay connotations thank you very much.

fishing for dead fish in a red and white pond

2008-03-01T00:34:00.004+08:00

I just saw this friendster(or was it facebook?) shoutout of sorts by this person. It read: I still can't believe that Youth Olympics is going to be held in Singapore. IN TEARS.

The first reaction in my cranium is "what the fuck?" followed by a sudden impulse to msg the person, "are you for real homie? you would cry?" Now i don't mind if you're a atlete with a shot of winning a medal but this dood is err, i should say, tipping the scales the wrong way.

But that's beside the point. That's just me being a jackass. The main point iam trying to get across is, what's the big fucking deal about Singapore hosting the YOUTH olympics? When has Singaporeans ever gave a flying middle finger about the local sports scene? When has Singaporeans shown up in droves to support our 'local heroes in the Sea games? How many empty seats do you see in an S league match this days? And now i see pictures of people celebrating like crazed mofos as though they have struck toto(if i did, i would as well) in the newspapers. That doesn't seem to match for me.

To me, it's all some big drawn up hype by who else, the government, in an attempt to make Singapore a "sports hub". Cmon la, seriously. Are we gonna win a medal in the olympics anytime soon? (disregarding the foreign talent that are making up like 99% of Sg's medal winners in Sea games). Use the money on this project and help the poor people in Sg instead la! One final parting note: the only people who might give a rat's ass will be students. So, they will be using them to fill up empty stadiums and arenas. Just my opinion :)

Ok iam hungry. Time to raid the fridge. I hope there's sushi. But iam 99.5 percent sure there won't be any. Well, a (hungry)man can dream, can't he?

no cyclone tonight nigga'

2008-02-28T16:16:00.002+08:00

I thought i was strong enough. To go from a 12 hour shift, straight to zouk and back to work in the morn' again. But in the words of Russell Peters, "i can't do it". So i called in sick. I suck. Hoho. But it was fun to finally hit Zouk, get loose and jiggle, and get some alcohol in the body after the mundane syncrasies of ass on chair while at work. It would have been nice if it had not been too crowded though. But good and sexy times still.

Very strange things have been happening to me. I hope iam not getting delirious. Like two days ago i was awoken rudely to hokkien kuas( songs) blasting in the wee hours of the morning in my living room. So i went out in a sleepy stupor and switched it off. The funny thing is that no one said they played any hokkien kuas at all when i ranted about it later. And no one heard it except me. Plus, there was no disc in the player in the morning And iam 99 % confirm plus stamp of prince charles that i wasn't dreaming. Wtf, ghost meh? Can't i have a cooler nether word experience than this? I can imagine the title in a Russell Lee book, "Chai Qing sings and scares boy". Ok that is a sucky title. And does Chai Qing even sing in hokkien? I have no idea.

Time for a doughnut.

barren boys

2008-02-18T21:18:00.003+08:00

I feel devoid of emotions. Is it because work has drained my grey matter to a pilfering puddle? Am i just too tired? I feel so weird now. The weirdest i have been for a long time. Can't really explain what it is. It's just like, iam sitting here staring at the screen like a statue while my fingers pounds the keys on the keyboard. Nothing is on my mind except what is in front of me. I don't feel elated, nor do i feel shitty. It's just an empty wasteland. I hope this feeling passes quick.

Shit, i hope the NBA all-star game later shakes me outta this slump.

march of the mofo

2008-02-16T19:54:00.003+08:00

Ever since CNY started, i have been guzzling alot of beer. Like, i just take one outta the fridge and chug it down like coca cola. So refreshinggg. But i take it not in excess, iam not an alcoholic. (i think)

Fuck, i seem to be just going through the motions recently, just like a felon humming his death march on route to the electric chair/ lethal injection/ gallows. One month is such a short time, i had better treasure it!

Hope everyone's snapping along great to their own tune! ( death march plays in the background....)

and here comes the number one animal, FTW!

2008-02-09T15:07:00.000+08:00

GONG XI FA CAI! WAN SHI RU YI! And er, i dunno what other greetings. My chinese is so limited. SU NIAN HAO LAI TOU? ( rat year very good). Its nice to be able to see and hang with relatives on a 4-5 day binge every year. The harmony and goodwill makes for a much needed break from the crap that we face everyday in our lives. So, wishing every homie a merry Chinese Knew Ear! ( Set to the mood of fireworks exploding and rats eating rice off the ground)

potent mishap by a delinquent soul

2008-02-03T12:03:00.000+08:00

Ok it's official. Me, lord of the dilly-dallying, procrastinating, aloof and don't give a rat's ass club has finally gotten his NS enlistment letter. (inserts people going, FINALLY)

Time to sell my soul to the country for 2 effing years! Hurray!

why so serious?

2008-01-29T21:15:00.000+08:00

I know i blogged not too long ago about the movie poster for "Harold and Kumar 2" being the best ever made. I've changed my mind. This IS the best and most coolios movie poster ever. Blame it on my fickleness. Simple, effective, witty and demented all at the same time.

And the freaking trailer for "The Dark Knight" is soooooo "Da Bomb" worthy. I absolutely love Heath Ledger's protrayal of the Joker. A darker, grimier and more demented version with the most sadistic laugh ever created. Just shows you what a great actor Heath is. Oh so versatile.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaIR9dAZRR0

Can't wait la!!!

the awkard geezer

2008-01-27T22:28:00.000+08:00

Some people are just plain inmature. I know iam not the most mature of people to say this but the point iam getting across is "maturity towards a wider, more serious scope of things". You can be childish and inmature in the name of fun( that's me!) but towards some other issues, try to be a bit more grown up can? Bah.

Sharapova is the Aussie open champion yay! Come on! ( that's her favourite motivational words to herself while on court (: So hot)

once i heard he ate a live duck

2008-01-23T21:06:00.000+08:00

I can't believe how dumb the operator who took my call when i dialed up the NS hotline is. I called them while at work cause i had bollocks to do and this is what ensued.

Me: Hi, i would like to enquire abt my enlistment status ( gives details etc)
Operator: Oh iam sorry sir you have to wait at least six months after your medical checkup before you get any news.
Me: Huh? My friend took just 2 months before and he got his already. Why is mine different?
Operator: (pauses) Ya sir but its up to the CNPB to decide when you enlist. I can't help you
Me: Isn't this place the CNPB? And you still haven told me why mine is different.
Operator: Everyone has to wait at least 6 months before getting the letter, i really can't help you.
Me: (sensing something amiss) At least 6 months? Or do you mean within 6 months?
Operator: Ya, thats what i meant.
Me: But you said at least 6 months just now.
Operator: Isn't it the same thing?
Me: No. (-_-) So can i know when is the earliest i can get in?
Operator: Sorry i can't help you. You got to wait for the letter.

SERIOUSLY. He kept saying i can't help you. He didn't even try to smoke. Zero help at all. Hire for fuck man.

On a sad note, Heath Ledger, the aussie actor has OD-ed on pills and died. What a waste of talent. I remember first seeing him in "ten things i hate about you" where he played a rebel who is a softie at heart. In memory! The sweetest scence and the scene i'll most remember him by!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWV7LWyTFQM

fool's gold

2008-01-21T22:42:00.000+08:00

Woah what an ending to "Huang Jing Lu", our very own local production which i feel is one of the best in years. However the ending was kinda "er..." worthy, different, unexpected and kinda lame. But in a strange sorta way, i liked it! Totally random and creative i feel. Though many people would not agree. Hoho.

I needa catch all the episodes i missed online man. Youtube has taken down all the episodes, now only left tudou.com. Heehee. But i have no time ): So many shows i wanna watch man. Hai.

I need my pay bad. Damn.

"king of bookies believed to have commited suicide"

I love this line. So farni. ( yes i know i spelt funny in an act cute way)

eazier said then dunn

2008-01-14T23:06:00.000+08:00

First day back to work = tiring. I need to adjust quick.

Iam so tired that all i can do is give synonyms for being tired. Iam exhausted, fatigued, weary, drained, spent... what else?

Bah iam just gonna go concuss in a few. Hope 2008 has been nice to all of ya. So far, it has treated me well, with promises of better things to come. (: Peace.

arnold vs predator was the best

2008-01-09T02:35:00.000+08:00

Movies are a strange enigma. Sometimes, you go in, expecting a lot, but instead you get disappointed. Sometimes, you go in expecting very little, but instead get blown away. Sometimes you go in expecting a spectacle, and you get a spectacle of epic proportions(*). And sometimes, you go in expecting a shitty movie and a miracle does not happen. It is as shitty as you expected it to be. AVP2 belongs to that last category.

I can't even tell describe fully how bad it was. The dark and dim lighting where you can barely see anything, the dismal, been there done there plot, the bad special effects and the bad acting. The consensus among me and my friends? The highlights of the movie was when a blond girl strips to her bra and panties and when the predator blows off two pothead's cranium with some laser. -_- C'mon man B grade movies are better than this.

Iam collecting Nazgul peektures online now. (: Iam crazy.

*iam going to put an asterix after every cliche that i use. Ah, cliches, cliches. They are just like women. You can't live with them, and yet you can't live without them.(*) Its apt that i end off with a cliche to end this cliche-y post right?

fall from grace

2008-01-08T01:46:00.000+08:00

Does anyone out there has this deep regret about any particular incident in the past? One in where you wish the cliche "turning back time" actually works? I know i have.

Fair Annatar, once beautiful
lured by power
the scrooge of the black earth
he becomes

the future of a certain oddity

2008-01-07T02:55:00.000+08:00

One sentence from my pop's sums up my plight right now.

"If you got money you will at home meh?"

Darn it. Being broke sucks. I blame myself for overspending and procrastinating. Not a good start to 2008. Dang!

I shall leave with some words of wisedom. "Some things are just over-rated."
Why? Cause i waited round 40 mins for some apparently super famous, yummy hokkien mee that turned out to be mediocrity at its finest. OVERRATED.com. Plus the cook was so smug, like he is cooking buddha jump over the wall likedat. Hurhur. So many things in this world are over-rated. Why?

but it's hard to say what you feel

2008-01-03T03:13:00.000+08:00

Sunlight, opened up my eyes
To see for the first time
You'll open them up
And tonight, rivers will run dry
And not for the first time
Rivers will run

Hundreds of years in the future
It could be computers
Looking for life on earth

Don't fight for the wrong side
Say what you feel like
Say how you feel

You'll go backwards, but then
You'll go forwards again
You'll go backwards, but then
You'll go...

-TwIsTeD Logic

2007 bites the dust

2008-01-02T02:12:00.000+08:00

The year is 2008. Human technology is rapidly improving. The world is changing, with climate changes and global warming at an all time high. If nothing is done, the human race will be wiped out in 50 years.

Sorry, ignore first paragraph, i was just inspired by I am Legend, which was a great show though many said it sucked and i almost didn't go watch it cause of their negative remarks. More thought provoking i would say, as opposed to the more action packed advantgarde that everyone was expecting.

So 2007 is officially over with a shout and a quiver. Counted down with the masses at Chijmes before getting shitfaced (superbad lingo for wasted) at upper club. Though pukecount was 3, it wasn't as bad as other times and i was pretty sober by 5am. Reached home round 7 and basically slept New Year's Day away.

Wishing every homie out there a rambunkous 2008! Do whatever you wanna do cause life is short! Live for the moment! Carpe Diem! Why am i turning into bad cliche man again?

Next post: My 2007 year in review and possibly some new year resolutions. (which iam not gonna keep, but i'll try.)

what would NPH do?

2007-12-26T02:00:00.000+08:00

Feast your eyes on the greatest movie poster EVER.

Unicorn. Check.

Neil Patrick Harris. Check.

Neil Patrick Harris on a Unicorn. Check.

Sometimes, in times of trouble or doubt, we gotta ask ourselves sometimes, what would NPH do?

christmas used to be fun

2007-12-23T01:00:00.000+08:00

In the words of Gun's N Roses, "where do we go now?"

I ain't feeling any christmas spirit, feels like any random day is coming.

I've been called a girl twice this week.

Iam too lazy to write in paragraphs.

The end of the year is coming, HURRAY. (no sarcasm there)

Finished Prison Break!

Fight club is SUPARDOPE.

Wouldn't it be fun to ride a Nazgul?

My fucked-up lifestyle is killing me.

For people who are looking forward to Christmas, have loads of fun! *twist

I have nice lepak buddies. (:

Miami Ink is making me wanna get a tattoo.

Oh, and happy holidays, from my buddies Starscream and the Witch-King of Angmar.

cute poison

2007-12-17T03:05:00.000+08:00

I seriously wanna box someone in the face right now. Firstly, Chelsea lost to Arsenal. Then now the buffering of episode 19 of Prison Break 2 is taking such an obscene amount of time. Right when the season is coming to a climax and excitement is at an orgasmic level of high. (I know iam slow, y'all cats are prolly smirking now and going "NOOB, i've finished season 3 already. wazzuuuup!" ) You know how gian am i to watch now? Prison Break is the shit man. Up there with the O.C on best show ever.

PS: i was kidding about boxing someone in the face. Iam a strong advocate of MLNW. Make love not war. (:

point and say, har har!

2007-12-15T04:00:00.001+08:00

I thought i was an arden schadenfreudeun( someone who takes pleasure in other's misfortune) but these newscasters takes the cake. Though like me, we only take a funny outlook on schadenfreude, not a malicious one. This joint was so fucking funny, i literally laughed my ass off so much that it had a life on it own and now i have no ass. It's not so much the model falling down (though the second fall was hilarious), but the newcaster's reaction to it. They took IMAO to a whole new level. You can even hear them weezing nd gasping for air near the end. HAHAHAHAHA.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfdQiOnxFSs

Damn i think my nervous system is fucked up. Must be the caffeine and the nocturnal lifestyle. But caffeine is like a freaking drug. You can OD on it too. I read somewhere that this indian painter died after consuming 20 cups of coffee a day. Go figure.

big evil is coming

2007-12-12T04:15:00.000+08:00

I've been doing alot of abnormal stuff lately sigh. Which i won't like to elaborate for fear of condemnation. I want to be a normal human being again. ):

It starts ___________.

However if i ever come to a day where i become normal again, i would still pretty much like to meet more abnormal people. Cause normal people sometimes bore me and secretly i long for that crazy bitch to make my life a little more interestingggg. Heehee. Why does society makes us conform so much? I bet somewhere out there, some guy or girl is prolly secretly wishing her/his significant other is someone "out there" who is capable of actions that pushes the boundaries of our "perfect" little society instead of that person who just cuddles up and acts nice all the time. Hurhur strange is my mind but from my experience in the past that's what i feel anyway.

Thankfully i have some friends, or specifically, a friend like that. Strange girl is she and i find her an interesting case study of socio ergonomics as she ceases nought to amaze me with her weirdness and thinking. Think UFO's, roti prata and pop culture in a an ecleptic mix of mishmash. But sometimes i worry for her as she can get wayyyy off.

Ok that's all byebye. Thanks for reading.

arnold is mr freeze

2007-12-10T01:11:00.000+08:00

If i could meet the wicked witch from Alice in Wonderland now, i would ask her: "Why is the weather so cold nowadays in Singapore? Like Genting likedat."

And if she can't answer i'll buy her coffee and we will live happily ever after. (PS: iam not so evil as to melt her by throwing water on her pls)

riot!

2007-12-09T06:03:00.000+08:00

Negativity and pessimism seem to be all the rage right now. Hurhur. So in the spirit of it all, iam gonna list 5 of my "negativities" out to show why iam a sick human being who should be shunned and abhored by society. (:

1) I make fun and laugh at people, ALOT. No one is spared. Unless you're hayden panettiere or some other perfect being.

2) I look like shit/grendel-like in photos. Not that i look any better in real life.

3) Iam skinny, un-tanned and look like the apparition you see if you enter changi hospital.

4) On a scale of one to ten, i measure roughly 9.8/10 on the laziness scale.

5) I have weird thoughts which are borderline demented and ludicrous. There are such that if i type them here, i might get carted off to IMH (institue of mental health) because someone who i thought was my friend would report me. ))):

6) I am paranoid.

7) Everyone say they procrastinate, but i think i rank at least in the top ten in that category.

8) Iam damn fickle. I can't make up up my mind. Damn gu niang. Slap me please.

9) I consume too much alcohol and caffeine, which results in occasional egomanical-ness and on-edge tendecies.

10) I make up a lot of excuses.

Damn iam a sick human being. Why can't i be normal, like those tanned beach boy types with their perfectly coiffed short hair, big biceps and normal hobbies and thoughts? But i would be boring, wouldn't I? Wait iam already boring like fuck. Chalk up one more negative point for the king!

david greybeard is probrably smarter than you

2007-12-04T04:59:00.000+08:00

My phone is zonked out. Can't send messages, receive, calls halfway cut off etc. BS man. TV broke down, dvd player cranky, technology is not being a good homie to me recently.

Eat this. That's why i love chimpanzees. Human's are so OVER-RATED. The high and mighty human race, eat humble pie!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071203
/ap_on_sc/chimp_memory

down the evolutionary ladder we go

2007-11-30T05:21:00.000+08:00

I realised that change is a motherfucker. Which means simply: it's hard to change, be it someone's character, habits, behaviour etc. It's not like you can snap your grimy little fingers and become someone else in an instance. It's just not possible. That's my view anyways. How many of you mofo's out there actually fufilled a new year's resolution in like, the past 5 years? Iam guessing not alot. The beauty of human nature... we always must hang to our miserable beliefs no matter what. Or we just can't be bothered/ too lazy to try. (thats me!!!)

My TV is still not fixed! What the hell man. Tv repair man "dua" us for like 4 days already. That prick. Does he know how much pain he is causing me? I can only watch free to air channels in my mom's room and that really reeks cause nothing's good on free to air.

530am. Bedtime! PS, i miss you too.

failsafe policy/fallacy?

2007-11-27T17:57:00.000+08:00

Change is needed. Fast. Be it a small, seemingly insignificant one, or an over the top, obvious one, it doesn't really matter. What matters is the effort taken to do so. Right now iam lacking the effort and the motivation. I've realised that when i get older, i get less and less motivation in life. Monetary motivation? Nah. Career motivation? Not yet while the shadow of NS looms ahead. And iam getting more freaking apathetic by the minute. In layman's term: Not giving a flying fuck. Will something, or someone, make me give a flying fuck?

Btw watched Stardust and Beowulf over the weekends. Stardust was surprisingly good hahaha. Wasnt too big on the storyline at first. Ok Lyn i was wrong and you were right again.

Everyone said Beowulf sucked, but i beg to differ. It actually is quite good for a semi-animation flick and it actually is a breath of fresh air actually. I especially like the tweaking of the plot to give new angles to the poem of Beowulf. But Grendel was disappointing. He looked more like a deformed human being then a mythical monster spawned from the depths of hell. Hurhur.

iam bringing tacky slacks, yeah!

2007-11-25T02:11:00.000+08:00

There are two phrases that i feel is overused and over-rated in this day and age when used to describe someone. The two phrases are "party like a rockstar" and "bring sexyback". Why? Lemme explain.

Firstly, "to party like a rockstar" doesnt mean plain hitting the clubs and partying the night away. To party like a rockstar in my book, it involves alot more. It should have 5 factors.
1) Copious amounts of booze, hovering dangerously close to alcohol poisoning range.
2) The presence of dope like weed where people get high as hell.
3) The involvement of orgies.
4) Loads of bling bling.
5) Loud shouts of "BOOYA!" everynow and then resonating throughout the area.

Since this doesn't happen in good old Singapore, not that i know off, i feel that people should not throw around that phrase like, "Wah, you go Zouk every week, you party like a rockstar man!" and then nominate that person for a superlative. Cmon.

Secondly, "to bring sexyback" doesn't just mean a sexy person with nice booty, male or otherwise, who can shake it on the dance floor. To bring sexyback, you gotta have 3 factors.
1) Go as high pitched as Justin Timberlake.
2) Make girls or guys scream "AH!!! You are so sexy i wanna eat you up"
3) Take potshots at another music icon for saying sexy never left.

Blame the musicians for coming out with these catchprases so to speak. Now everyone thinks they are the bomb. HOHOHO. This post was written in jest. For anyone who has ever been nominated those superlatives (including me), don't feel so bad.

By the way i just won a poker tournament online. 20 US dollars!!! MUAHAHHAHA. Out.

black martyr

2007-11-25T00:20:00.000+08:00

behold the bitterness of precocious Pike,
a lone garfunkel amongst thorny roses,
seep what may through carricks of doom.
die shall the angry and jealous,
misplaced by hate, consumed by vengeance,
dragged deep into Satan's lair,
where stew he may, eyes red as fire.

hayley bleaches her hair to become a cowboy

2007-11-23T18:03:00.000+08:00

It wrenches my heart and eats every fibre of my soul. Why is my life so bad? My television has broken down.

Since iam deprived of my favourite shows like MTV, CSI, NBA etc, i have been youtubing more then usual. So iam gonna just post 3 links of the more frequent vids i've been watching recently. I know its random. I have no explanation for it myself hurhur.

1) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9r1ZS3I4K9Y
2) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdSJjoq04mA
3) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiR838VOCrA

Number 1 is damn catchy and funny. Number 2 has a sexy beast (who acts cute) in it. Number 3 has a very cute girl with a very nice voice singing a very nice song.

By the way, you would NEVER guess where i've been "hanging out", sorta, on tuesday and wednesday. Give you three guesses you also won't get it. HAHA.

You can erase someone out of your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story.

2007-11-20T01:36:00.000+08:00

After much meandering and hallywagging of sorts, i finally caught eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. No less than 3 friends have recommended me to watch this flick and iam glad i heeded them cause it was a helluva good show. Its one of those shows that makes you think, a lot. And that's a good thing cause i like shows like that, though the occasional mindless flick rocks at times.

Hmmm, i wonder what would happen if one of the main themes, memory erasing, were prevalent in our society? Would it cure not many heartaches of the common man? Or would it cause a cascadal freefall which results in regret and conflict ala in the movie? Iam guessing the latter.

I always find myself drawn to eccentric ladies and this film is no different. Oh my fair Clementine(played by Kate Winslet), even though you refer to yourself as a "fucked up girl who's looking for my own piece of mind", have blue hair and alcoholic tendencies, i'll still hope to be your Joel Barish someday. (:

Iam adding this to my favourite movies list for shizzle.

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd ...

Beautiful.

blue steel/ i love lamp

2007-11-19T01:49:00.000+08:00

Its been 4 days since turning 20. And the feeling is .... depressing. How i wish i can stay young forever ala Archie and Friend's, forever enjoying the nuances of high school. Sigh.

Still, would like to thank all who wished me harpy birdbay, and to those who dug into thier wallets to buy me a gift even though its not necessary in my book. Also to my some of my homies who spent their time languishing with me, whether in the form of a birthday treat or partying the night away. Thanks (:

Kay iam off to watch Zoolander and Anchorman again. Tried to switch my body clock by sleeeping at 1030pm but failed miserably and woke up at 1am. Iam so nocturnal, its not even funny anymore.

Derek Zoolander and Ron Burgundy. My heroes.

donkaments

2007-11-13T04:26:00.000+08:00

Once a upon a time there was a boy who lived under a rock on a mountain named after slow moving creatures with big shells. His name? Sua Gu. (mountain tortoise)

There is a moral to this story, but its deep. Too deep, in fact.

old man river...

2007-11-11T21:37:00.000+08:00

A big THANKS to ma homie lynnn for the very early birthday treat and present. Even though i find birthdays over rated and gnarly, it still makes me stoked that you bothered to celebrate it with me early cause you're going to thailand tmr. This kind of friend how to find? You tell me? HAHA. Lyn is DA BEST! Enjoy your trip and feed the elephants for me!

Ok so iam gonna be 20 soon. OLD I TELL YOU. The teenage rhapsodies and idiosyncrasies are poof! Vamoose, son of a bitch! For non nigga-rish people, that means those days are over.

Sigh.

Now i shall choose to end this post in a little more unorthodox way. By asking a question. Can you see yourself in like 20 years time? ( Wise guys you know what i mean. Not see as in see in the mirror. -_- You get my drift.) There's no need for an answer. Just picture it deep in the recesses of your heart, brain, whateva'. Why? Sometimes there is no need for an explanation. Amen.

iam not irate, iam your brother

2007-11-06T02:05:00.000+08:00

Ok i have a simple request for guys who know me. CAN YOU STOP ASKING ME WHEN IAM GONNA GET MY NS ENLISTMENT LETTER? Iam not pissed or anything, just mildly irritated when every guy(mostly) asks me when iam gonna enlist or why i haven enlisted yet. C'mon la, is when iam gonna enlist that big of a deal? Wouldn't it be better if you ask me whether i have any STDs or something? At least i know you are concerned for my health right?

This is gonna be my standard answer when people ask me that question from now on.

"Dunno, you want call NS service centre help me find out?"

Anyway i don't mind if they give me a later date for NS. Later better. I must well enjoy first before i go into the hellhole. And whether or not i waste my time is my own problem right? And its not like i didnt try getting an earlier enlistment.

The over-caffeinated straggler, out.

why did the chicken cross the goat?

2007-11-05T01:30:00.000+08:00

Now that i have ceased my work at RCC, its time to reflect and give a job appraisal.

Things i have learned while working.

1) There are very nice rich people and there are shitty snot-faced rich people
2) Boredom is over-rated
3) Sometimes its better to not take sides when you are caught in between and its better to keep your freaking mouf shut and not get involved in any beeswax. In short, when this person is complaining and bitching about another, just go erm, ah, orh, ya, nod*

Yeah that's basically it. Go suck on a chupa chup and get high. Why? Cause there are rumours that Britney Spears sucks on drug laced lollipops. Ok random.

guzzle

2007-10-30T00:02:00.000+08:00

So i procrastinated and did not blog about numeo 4 and 5 yesterday. Anyways, i've already forgotten what are they. Oh wait i remember one. THE IT ADMINISTRATOR at my workplace TANG KEE blocked windows( not msn, mind you) messenger as well. How pathetic is that man. So basically i have a com, but i can't surf the internet NOR chat. Lucky iam only working till the end of the week. Then iam a jobless hobo again!
But before they let me leave the throes of their demonic grasp, they have piled me with OT on Wed, Thurs and i was asked to cover on Sunday also. My supp please take leave so i can watch DVDS!!!

Today was staff day, so the club was closed and there was a buffet lunch at Furama Hotel. I didn't want to go at first but i realised you have to pay 75 bucks if you don't attend cause they had already arranged a seat for you. So no choice. But there was beer. (: Beer in the afternoon is so refreshing.

Ok its 12:15 am and iam not sleepy. Must be the beer.

pockets are abandoning me

2007-10-27T21:24:00.000+08:00

Ok i haven blogged in eons so my peons here are some of my meons (memories in short).

5 random things that i had wanted to blog about in the past week but had no chance too.

So iam gonna write briefly instead of the in FULL which i would have liked because unfortunately i have no time. The ironic thing is that the time where i have the most time is at work, but due no no internet access, i can't blog. Once i'am at home, i have no time cause iam either doing other stuff online, or sleeping, or catching up on my used-to-be fav pastime, the tv. So there you go.

1) I wanted to blog about the dismal standard of Singapore's TOILETS, PEE PEE SHOPS, LOOS, WASHROOMS etc. I mean cmon, Singapore on the outside looks so clean and nice, with all the flora and flora, nice roads, beatifully designed buildings. But when you enter a toilet at let's say JURONG EAST interchange, or any kopitiam or even some shopping centres, its as if you had enter pan's labrinyth. The govt should seriously look into this.

2) I wanted to blog about my HORRENDOUS cards given to me and my general BAD LUCK playing poker. Whether it be online, or playing with my friends, the good cards seem to avoid me like a plague. I know alot of you noobs out there don't know how to play this magical game, instead wasting your time on games like DOTA etc but try to stay with me abit. I have not gotten the 1st, 2nd, 3rd or even the 4th best hand in AGES. Like 10 sessions? While people and my friends are getting like the best hand (pocket aces) or others like 3 times or more in one session, i have been getting ZILCH. NADA. SHIT. And whenever i claw and fight my way into contention with my shit cards using my full poker powers, i get outdrawn by a worse hand. ZZZ.

3) I wanted to blog about COMPASSION, PASSION or any word that has PASSION in it. After observing the world through books, shows, real life experiences, people etcetera the past few weeks, i have come to the conclusion that it is perhaps the most important trait/s a person must have.
Passion and Compassion. The lovely double silicon Ds of an imaginary utopia. Wouldnt it be nice if every one had that? But the world isn't built this way. People with these traits are very attractive in my book.

I shall continue with 4 and 5 tomorrow cause i gotta head out. Peace and Happy Halloween in advance!!!

that old saying

2007-10-21T21:46:00.000+08:00

Weekerndsss are the shit especially after 5 days of "slogging" out in the wolf's lair a.k.a workplace. Caught Superbad on fridays and it was basically in my humblest and non important opinion the funniest and show of the year. Crude humour and penis drawings are the best! But it was not all balls, balls, fuck, pussy and all the other sex lingo you can think of. It actually is quite endearing and heartwarming at times. Geeks effing RULE!!! Mclovins!!!

After that was a marathon poker session where bad beats and craziness ruled the table. Played till like 6 and concussed after that. Woke late and went to DXO's bar(??), not the club itself to celebrate hp's belated birthday. After that was Zouk where surprisingly for a saturday was better on most of the fridays i have been going to. The music was dope man. Foreign guest DJ made things damn interesting compared to the same repetitive crap i have been hearing for some time. Classic hiphop was played, the likes of B.I.G, Jay Z, Dr Dre etc. Such a breath of fresh air. Woo maybe i should hit Zouk on Saturday's now cause the music on Friday is sucky.

Weekends biatch!

Edit/

My uncle said i looked like Marilyn Manson. -_-

big "pimpin" babeeyyyy

2007-10-16T23:13:00.000+08:00

My life is as happening as hibernating polar bears at the north pole man. Work blows.
I should be doing this istead man, to quote from a Jay Z song.

We doin' big pimpin, we spendin' cheese (Check 'em out now )
Big pimpin'
On B.L.A.P.'s
We doin' big pimpin' up in NYC
It's just that Jigga-man, Pimp-C and B.U.N.B.
Check em out now

But alas, iam not even doing anything close to pimpin'. Hai, the only things keeping me sane is you. And the weekends. They say we live for the weekends. So fucking true.

Thankfully i will cease work at the end of the month.

*Dissolves into nothing-ness to find frodo and friends

my type

2007-10-10T22:57:00.000+08:00

Today was tolerable cause da boss my supp was not hanging around the office. Thus i was able to go old school and began reminiscing through watching ISWAK on DVD. Managed to get through 5 episodes. ISWAK 2 is currently playing in Taiwan already!

Tomorrow how? The boss will be here and i will die of boredom.

* crosses finger many many that internet access will be available again. Tang Kee please! And yes, the I.T guy's name is Tang Kee. In hokkien = medium. I LMAO when i heard at first man.

that feeling of high and low

2007-10-08T10:00:00.000+08:00

I had a weird dream again. No surprises there. I dreamt that i was snorting cocaine outside a fastfood restaurant with a female friend using those straws you suck coke (get the pun? haha) or pepsi from. And i woke up strangely elated and energized. Not that i've done hard dope before la, but i bet it sure would feel very good. Like orgasmic good. Sure would love to try it once in my life. But then i'll get addicted, depend on it for life and soon enough OD on it. Hurhur.

OK I HAVE SOMETHING TO BITCH ABOUT. MY FREAKING WORKPLACE BLOCKED THE INTERNET ACCESS ON THE COM'S TODAY KNNNBCCB.

C'mon la my job is like uber boring x 1000000.256 and yet they block the internet access? What am i supposed to do to pass time there? Snorkel? Play snakes and ladders with myself? Do meditation? WTH man. Bring books i will finish fast also cause iam a fast reader. Die la. The only thing i have is windows messenger and games like minesweeper and crappy pinball.

*Goes to a corner and sulk about the misery of the world.

Ok iam exaggerating but iam going to bore to death soon enough at work. Unless they unblock the internet access. ):

randy dandy

2007-10-06T18:51:00.000+08:00

Grrr all the freaking positive energy i got from last night's Home Club(?) outing was shattered by a fucking negative chi force in the morning. Pissed off like hell. But still it was a fun night yesterday non-the-less. And now that i got most of the drinking and smoking outta my system for this week, its time to play some pokkeeeerrrr. And win.

I just don't why some ppl care about face so much. Fuck.

the gift and the curse

2007-10-02T15:27:00.000+08:00

I am not making this up. I woke up today with a very acute sense of smell for no reason at all. Acute as in dog-like acute. Not that i know how acute a dog's sense of smell la but they can sniff out bombs, drugs, butt etc so i guess their sense of smell is pretty good. SO, i woke up and i could smell things i normally could not. Like when i was downstairs, i could smell this person's odour even though he was like 5 metres away from mua. But he could be just a freaking smelly person, so nevermind. But i began to smell really weird things, like fertilisers, milk, grass, plastic, pee etc while i was walking to the MRT. Super weird. But my new found superpowers didn't last long. It faded away while i was waiting for the train. Heng ah. Or else i would have died of odour suffocation while squeezing with the masses. It's like today when i woke up, my brain decide to mess with me, "Ah, let's fuck up his senses for a while. Just for fun!"

Since iam on the topic of smell, i would like to give a shout-out to people who stink and friend's of people who stink. People who stink, please get this little thingy called a deodorant. Or bathe. Friend's of people who stink, there is a time when being tactful is useful but this is not it. Would you rather your friend's suffer the ignominy of seeing people's stares and not-so-subtle pinching of noses?

I like the word acute. A cute girl. (:

mrs foo had flu

2007-09-28T16:33:00.000+08:00

Just when i thought i could enjoy myself this weekend, go Zouk, play soccer etc, i get stricken by the flu bug. Fuck, is this my retribution? I know, i make fun of people alot, especially people who looks funny or ugly. But i know alot of people do that too ok. I can sense you all going, " eeee, shawn is such a fucker.. make fun of people.." Whatever la. I look retarded too, people make fun of me all the time. ): So evens stevens. And i don't mind people making fun, critiscising me or whatever. Why must one be so sensitive rites? Cmon, say iam a skinny white fugly pale loser la. I not gonna mind in the slightest. I don't know about other people though. They might think "shit, you lao(old) ku bye, wanna fight is it?"

Ok i think the flu is making me talk nonsense again. And iam damn sleepy after popping 2 panadols that i have been chewing ricola lemonmints non stop to ensure i don't fall asleep at the desk and kanna fried cuttlefish. But actually i don't mind, cause this work is boring the shit outta me. ): Have a great weekend and remember to pop those vitamins. Flu season is here! From your concerned pals, me and my buddy Starscream.

coffee, err, stuff

2007-09-26T15:42:00.000+08:00

Coffee coffee coffee...
My little kueh-pie-ti...
First place, in front of lipton tea...
Hee hee hee hee hee...

My not so subtle tribute to coffee, which iam currently drinking now. Woots, best drink ever. Its making me so happy man, i don't know why. Wait i go google.

Google: caffeine endorphins

Yes that's why i feel so happy. Caffeine does stimulate the release of endorphins, according to google. Just like sex, the YMCA and a dozen other activites. I salute the homie who invented coffee. Cheers! ( Using coffee. Geddit? People cheers with alcohol i use coffee. Ok nevermind.)

One and a half hour left of work!

that sinking feeling

2007-09-25T20:03:00.000+08:00

Holy moley i haven updated for a long times. Thats whys iam updatings now. Why so much S-es behind? Cause i feel very S -ssy. Ok this is not making any sense.

So iam too lazy to write in paragraphs, so iam going old school and writing in point form. 5 things i did and what happened to me in the past week.

1) I started work, obviously.
2) I caught daughtry in a mini gig. Wasn't that great. The free beer was better.
3) A wild boar ran into the compound where iam working and thai workers killed it with a changkoh ( some hoe like shovel). Iam not making this up, i saw the boar. But bless its soul, i feel so sorry for it. ):
4) I bought 4 t shirts at topman for no apparent reason.
5) A co worker said i had no meat on my butt cause i said the bus ride was uncomfortable.

Sorry for the shitty sentence struture, grammatical errors or spelling errors if any. Work is so mundane that its killing my braincells. And iam writing in haste cause iam tired. Byebye coney island biatches!

bittersweet poetry

2007-09-17T14:56:00.000+08:00

Bittersweeeet.....
You're gonna be the death of me
I don't want you, but I need you,
I love you and hate you at the very same time....

Been listening to this Kanye/ John Mayer joint, Bittersweet Poetry, for days. What a beautiful song...

On a side note, i have one reason why i might be the laziest motherfucker around. Iam so lazy that work has come to find me instead of me finding it! I was kinda forced into it too. At first i tried to deflect the job offer by saying my hair is frgging long, i can't give them a specific timing on how long i can work cause of Ns etc. But to no avail. Damn, they pooh-pooh-ed my excuses so from tomorrow onwards you'll see a lifeless entity hauting the reception area of raffles country club. I still don't know where it is yet. And i have to be there by 9am. Ah!!!! a 9 to 5 job again zzzz. But my Aunt say that the job is slack and i can read and do my own stuff cause there's nothing much to do. Oh well, see how it goes.

Bittersweeeettt.....

poetry and a dash of malaise

2007-09-14T10:38:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i feel very dark inside. Not emo, mind you. I have come to the conclusion that emo is gay. The feeling iam describing in particular is like a mixture of funerals, edgar allan poe's narratives and slyvia plath's poetry. Its a feeling where for some reason, the darker aspects of human life, i.e. death and loneliness, feels closer to your heart, however morbid it may seem.

Here's one of my favourite poems by Slyvia Plath to illustrate my point.

Revolving in oval loops of solar speed,
Couched in cauls of clay as in holy robes,
Dead men render love and war no heed,
Lulled in the ample womb of the full-tilt globe.

No spiritual Caesars are these dead;
They want no proud paternal kingdom come;
And when at last they blunder into bed
World-wrecked, they seek only oblivion.

Rolled round with goodly loam and cradled deep,
These bone shanks will not wake immaculate
To trumpet-toppling dawn of doomstruck day :
They loll forever in colossal sleep;
Nor can God's stern, shocked angels cry them up
From their fond, final, infamous decay.

-The Dead by Slyvia Plath

So beautiful...

Its raining now. Goody.

wired minds

2007-09-11T15:24:00.000+08:00

I love eccentricity to death. Without it, the world would be a damn boring place not worthwhile to live in. Serious. Imagine a world full of obtuse and similar people, an example being youngsters going "how's it going yo," instead of "hi, the square root of a gerbil is a cuticle." Stuff like that. Hurhur, that example is a tad extreme but i hope you get my drift. We need people of different thought methodologies and not just in a "change the world!" kinda way. I for one, needs it to keep sane. Although in many ways, people don't really find eccentricity that much of a character trait. Weirdo's, they call them.

Sylvia Plath! Karen Eiffel! Michelangelo!

gyrations of the heavenly king

2007-09-08T10:27:00.000+08:00

I wanted to blog about something but all that is going through my head now is the Para Para Sakura song sung by Aaron Kwok. Fuck, i haven heard the song for eons and suddenly it pops out in my mind.

If i remembered correctly it goes something like

"eee eee ooo eh sa ah eee O eh yo come and dance with me.... SAKURA!"

Haha, confirm super wrong. Ohh i just remembered what i wanted to blog about. Vanessa Hudgens of High School Musical fame had her nude photos circulated on the internet! Ok perverts, i know what you will do now.

1) go google
2) type vanessa hudgens nude
3) go through all the websites until you find the picture and oogle for a while

I know how the mind of a perv works ok. But its nothing really. Just another nude celebrity. Hoho.

Oh ya, i would like to formally apologise to da ganggg for pang seh-ing the Zouk outing yesterday. Too lazy to go home, change and go out again. Iam a fucking lazy procrastinating mofo bum.

freaking gimmicks

2007-09-07T04:06:00.000+08:00

I just found something else that annoys me greatly. Caucasian people who write books about living in Singapore.

Its like, "Oooo, i came to Singapore and had a culture shock. Ooooo, its so fucking hot here. Oooo, the hawker auntie shouts alot."

Freaking annoying na' mean? You don't see Singaporeans writing about their experiences overseas do you? (not that i know of) Iam not annoyed cause they speak bad about Singapore. Trust me, i've said worst things about our "fair" country. Its just that its so gimmicky and lame, like " look at me, look at me, iam a six foot five white guy living with yellow midgets now.... buy my book... iam so lost here... everything's so different here.. the mrt ceiling's is not made for tall people... i hit my head on a ceiling fan cause iam so tall... come read bout my experiences..."

Get my psyche? And the shitty thing is that these books goes on to become best sellers in SINGAPORE for god's sake. What in the freaking hell is going on here? Are Singaporeans that kaypoh that they even want to know how a caucasian dude feels towards thorny fruits? What is so interesting about an ang moh living in Sg? If an eskimo or red indian comes and live in Sg, nothing to say la. Even i will buy his book!

I think i may be the only one who is so annoyed by this. Other's prolly love this kind of books to death. Bahhhhh!

I have nothing towards caucasians btw. All this was triggered by a book my friend had in her bag while we went out today. Haha. Eat cartoon turds!

freaking mozzies

2007-09-06T10:47:00.000+08:00

If you read the papers( i like to boast that i read the papers), you would realise that Bukit Batok is now a fucking dengue hotspot! And the street that i live in, West Ave 5, has already claimed seen two cases of people who caught it. Iam living in the danger zone man. Mozzies, please leave me and everyone else for that matter alone please.

*Bzzzz Bxxxx BBZZzXX XXQXXX BXxxxwxw ( that was mosquito talk for leave the humans alone)

Hmmm mosquito don't read blogs do they? Rats.

SHIT I JUST REALISED I HAVE A MOSQUITO BITE ON MY LEG. AAAARRGGGGHHHHHHHH. BYE BYE WORLD.

knights of columbus

2007-09-05T05:25:00.000+08:00

Been watching alot of Will Ferrell movies these few days. I'am not kidding when i say he is perhaps one of the three most funniest people alive. Him, together with Colin Mochrie and Phil Hellmuth Jr make up the holy trinity in my book. For people with no sense of popular culture, you'll prolly don't know who these guys la. Google!

So back to Will Ferrell. As i was saying, i watched alot of Will Ferrell movies lately and my favourite has gotta be Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Pure comedic genius. Even though this was the the fourth time i watched it, it stills gets my skinny ass laughing everytime. Fan's of unconventional humour rejoice!

"The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show [kisses his biceps] and see if she likes the goods."

-Ron Burgundy

time travelling folks

2007-09-01T03:26:00.000+08:00

"Two sucky movies in a row, are you kidding me?" was what i was thinking about 5 minutes into the movie Secret starring Jay Chou. ( insert fan's screams here) Thankfully the movie got better as it when on like a freight train gaining speed with all the plot twists and such. Whhhhooshhhh. And so it gets the dope! rating from me. Iam gonna have my own rating system for movies now.

1- crapamania!
2- whack!
3- popiah! ( cause iam half half towards popiah)
4- dope!
5- ron burgundy! ( a tribute to will ferrell in a role that defined comedy god)

So what was the movie that preceded Secret that i watched? Well it's the super bad Evan Almighty. Well, i don't even know how to start on how bad the movie is. Iam not kidding when i say i only cracked perhaps one smile throughout the whole movie. Yes, that's how unfunny it is. Rating: crapamaniaaaaaaaa!!!!!

Lucky secret was so good. If only i can find someone who has the characteristics of the female lead "xiao yu". Quirky, random and with an aura of mystery to her. I like (:

david beckham has it

2007-08-30T19:21:00.000+08:00

It has finally come to my senses that i may have a minor case of OCD, which if you read alot like me, you would know that it stands for obsessive compulsive disorder.
I say this because i realise that sometimes i nitwit and pick over minor details, like how some things are stacked or placed. So i seached the net for more info and i found out that one sign of OCD is:

The tendency to haggle over small details that the viewer is unable to fix or change in any way. This begins a mental pre-occupation with that which is inevitable.

But it's weird in a way for me cause for some things, i do haggle over the teeny-est details but for some others, i just don't give a flying fuck. Bah, my mind is a freaking paradox. Alter ego at work? Hi Starscream, how ya' doing rotting in the deep recesses of my mind? (:

non-sequitur

2007-08-28T19:47:00.000+08:00

I found this funny. And so apt at the same time. Its either me or you in this world, so, are you the pessimist or the opportunist? I used to be very much the latter but circumstances have changed. Fuckbuckets.

ignoring your pleas

2007-08-27T10:39:00.000+08:00

My hunch is so accurate sometimes it scares me. Bye bye Gremlim, you will be missed ): ): ): Iam so sorry ): ):

Met up with aliciaaaa the ah lian yesterday for dinner and she gave me a pack of contraband cigs. -_- Iam fagging one right now and boy, they sure suck compared to original ones, especially when you reach the middle. But hey, they are free so what the heck. Shit man, i have taken to smoking ALONE. Iam pretty much a social smoker normally. See la alicia, its all your fault.

I don't know why, but plain water tastes very tasty today. I have been chugging non stop since the early morn' and going to the toilet many many as a result.

father time

2007-08-26T11:55:00.000+08:00

I feel like iam in a freaken' time warp, being spun around like dirty laundry in a washing machine. Gawd. Life is so mundane. I need a getaway to another country, like Taiwan or Thailand man. Singapore is becoming so sickeningly boring.

The new Kanye West joint is so dope. Been listening to it everyday. ( does the kanye head shake movement)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZd1Js0QaOI

teleoperator you've got the wrong numbers

2007-08-24T00:21:00.000+08:00

Something weird happened to me just now.

So i dreamt that i was at home when this girl with a very sweet voice called me and asked me to do a questionnaire. You know, those things when someone calls you and ask you for 5 minutes of your time to do some questionnaire for some research or some shit. So i chatted with her and started falling for her based on our witty repertoire and banter!!! I then agreed to meet up with her. After i hung up, my friend came into the room and told me she knew the girl and showed me a picture of a fat girl in his class photo. I said, "ohhhh..." and that's all i can remember of that dream.

Here comes the weird part. I was awoken by my phone ringing and it was a woman asking me to do a questionnaire for some research! Coincidence? But it was a China woman la, and by the sound of it, she was looking for some stupid geezer to scam cause after she asks me a grand total of 3 questions about television, she said (in chinese), "Thanks for your participation. You are now eligible for a prize that you can collect at XXX. Can you give me your particulars?" in which i replied, "bu yao" and hung up. Answer 3 simple questions and i get a prize? Iam not so noobish la deh. But it will be bad if it happens to some old auntie or whoever and get scammed. But, there is nothing i can do. Oh well.

Hmm what is my mind trying to tell me? Do i have a six sense? And i destined to be a telephone operator? Or am i just plain weird?

Ok iam off to supper with my midnight supper club. The night owl, with a penchant for "teh siol", out.

one time

2007-08-22T11:06:00.000+08:00

Yesterday i had a dream. A nightmare in fact. Hearing those words come out of your mouth, even though you were just a mirage of my imagination, made one of my deepest fears come true. Some things are just so hard to forget.

the b word

2007-08-21T01:17:00.000+08:00

Phuture sucked soooooo bad on friday. Yes, i clubbed for the second time in a week, the first time that has happened since Emperor Qin ruled China. (meaning a long long time ago) I swear that in just the space of 2 years time, clubbing in Singapore has degenerated into nothing more then a glorified mass, human congregation. Borrrinnngggg!

To tell the truth, i'll rather play poker now then head to the clubs. Too bad the poker scene is virtually non existent in Sg, unlike in the USA where poker is almost as big as the major sports like Golf. Sigh. You're right, Singapore is borrrinnnggg. Until the casino ( or integrated resort, which the gah-ment wants to call it) opens that is. KA-CHING!

Now that iam on the topic of boring stuff, i would like to give a shoutout to the football channel, which has replaced espn/starsports as the main EPL broadcaster on Tee-Vo. Can it be any more borrrinnnggg? The host is boring, they keep repeating matches, they don't show recaps or offer any amount of entertainment value for my viewing pleasure. You mean i paid an extra 10 or 15 buckaroos a month for this shat? Damn.

If only i can bore myself to sleep now. I want to revert back to normal sleeping patterns so bad. Maybe i should try sleeping pills, then OD on them. (: Ah, so rock n' roll.

why, you foul mouthed ritterrrr

2007-08-17T13:52:00.000+08:00

After i had my morning lontong just now, i was heading home when i heard this 5 year old-ish kindergarden boy greet his friend with, "harlow Kenneth, ni de pi gu hen chou". Translated into english: "harlow kenneth, your backside( or ass or derriere) smells ( or reeks or stinks).

What in the world are kids learning this days man? They must have picked it up from somewhere. TV? Parents? Potty mouth relatives? If at kindergarden they are already greeting each other like that, i can see where they would go in a few years time. Their greetings would most prolly go something like, "harlow Kenneth you dickhead" or "harlow Kenneth you kuku jiao face" or "harlow Kenneth you fuckanadan". HAHA. Eh don't be surprised k. I've seen lower primary school kids cussing each other like Ah Bengs at Sparks Disco ok. (Sparks Disco was a wellknown ah beng hang out FYI) Oh well, times have changed. I dare say i didn't know the word "FUCK" til Pri 5 or 6 back in the day. Ain't i such a sweet innocent young man back then?

I apologise to any Kenneth's out there.

eardrums for hire

2007-08-16T11:03:00.000+08:00

Great. I can't sleep cause my ears are ringing real badly after Zouk. Note to self: never position one-self near speakers blasting at above Maria Sharapova screams and grunts voice decibel levels again. ( Maria's screams decibel levels were once recorded to be equal to that of a small aircraft landing!)

Though, if Maria Sharapova grunts and screams into my ear, i'll gladly take it (:

fighting the power

2007-08-15T04:14:00.000+08:00

Its 4am and iam still mucking around. What else is new? Iam trying very hard to reverse my absurb body clock to no avail. Anybirdie knows any formuli that can transform me back into a wake up at 10 sleep at 12 guy? Cause now iam a sleep at 4 or 5 wake up at 4/5/6 kinda guy. Holler at cha boy if you know.

Normally i go out for food and drinks with a select small company of fellow night aye aye's but tonight they were busy. So i have been surfing the net for freaking donkey hours and i have exhausted all my surfing options. So iam gonna do this 10 random facts about myself thingy i saw on J dawg's blog. If someone writes down your name to do that thing it counts as a tag right? I have no idea man. Define tag for me pls.

Newayy... the 10 random facts about me. (cause iam bored and i can look back 5 years from now and say, " wow, shawn circa 2007 was a dumbass mofo ")

1) In primary school, this kid complanied to his mom that i was "bullying" him. I swear all i did was call him names and headlock him a few times for fun, you know, the stuff kids do for fun. And i got into shitloads of trouble for that.

2) My first phone was a Nokia 3310 with a pure white casing. HAHA. And the shitty thing was it was the only one stolen out of a field of 8210s and 8250s while my friends and i left our bags unattended while playing bball. People of my generation should know 8210's and 8250's are much better phones. Maybe it was the pure white casing. Damn.

3) I have a small scar near the top of my forehead like Harry Potter from where i ran into a wall while playing i don't know what. Serious. I ran into a wall.

4) I have sealed my two ear holes. Looking back, i kinda feel stupid wearing pseudo diamond studs. Glad ive' gone past that phase.

5) I don't play computer games. I've never touched DOTA or any of those games geeks play online. It's just not in me. I'll rather read a book. Buden that makes me a geek also right? HAHA.

6) My favourite greens are brocolli.

7) Iam fucking bad with directions. Till now, i still don't know automatically where the north south or north west or east west lines go to.

8) I would pay big money (or whatever i have left) to watch a Guns N Roses (with the original lineup) concert.

9) Texas hold em' is currently my favourite recreational activity.

10) My family used to have a pom named Jojo that passed on a few years back. Till now she still remains my most beloved pet.

There you have it. Bahhhh. (chants boring..... boringg...)

mu gua jie mei

2007-08-14T23:28:00.000+08:00

I just logged onto msn and got bombarded by 5 people saying my nickname is lame or "jiao".

-_- pls. Xiao mu gua is the cute getai singer from the movie 881 la. You think i randomly generate xiao mu gua as my nick for fun meh? So i caught 881, (number abbrivieated for papaya) on Suns. After watching it, i really got a new found appriciation for hokkien songs and the local getai scene. In a simple nutshell, the movie in general was great, well directed and refreshing. The acting by seasoned stars and future studs were dope too. The narration though, was a little too irritating and monotonous for my liking.

So all in all, go watch it! Though iam not too sure if everyone would enjoy it to be honest. But as a side dish there is still the delicious Mindee Ong (for young men like me), the scrumptious Qi Yu Wu (for da ladies) and the tasty Liu Ling Ling(for oldies). So there's something for everyone!

One more thing, the film made me cry a little. A LITTLE OKAY. As the old cliche goes. "i laughed, i cried" while watching the show. No film has got me so close to my feminine side since Shawshank Redemption and that is quite a small feat in itself. Ok i just admitted i cried in a movie. Rats.

get ready for a whole new rush

2007-08-10T02:45:00.000+08:00

One of my friend is going through a reallly rough time now. Think the biggest problem you have right now x 100. And that's just a rough gauge. Just hope he can overcome this and everything pans out. Hai.

On a brighter note, caught Rush Hour 3 today. The story is a little iffy and there are many plot holes but DAMN is Chris Tucker funny. The words that are coming out of his mouth (those who watch 1 and 2 shd know this line) are fucking hilarious man. He overshadows Chan and in my opinion, the cliche storyline. (chinese triads, etc.)I would pay to watch the movie again just to see his comedic performance man. So overall, this movie is like Pirates 3. One actor lighting up what was a so-so movie.
Hmm i wonder what would happen if Johnny Depp teams up with Tucker?

patriots denial

2007-08-09T17:01:00.000+08:00

Its national day! All hail the red, white, and er, white! Iam feeling so patriotic now that i just might wear red underoos with white trimming today. (waves imaginary singapore flag like enthusiastic people at ndp parade)

Ok i shall stop. I was being sarcastic. Like i give a shit. Haha. To me its just a glorified public holiday. Out.

cotton candy grip

2007-08-08T08:39:00.001+08:00

Its scary how out of your control many of the things around you are. Take yesterday night for example. One of my friend was on his way to meet us for his birthday dinner when he hit a pedestrain while driving at 30 km/h. It was totally not his fault because he said that the person who appeared intoxicated only walked onto the road when he was like an arms length away and thus he could not brake in time. He was lucky he had a witness who saw what happen and who was able to testify in his favour. But the bad thing is, if something happens to the person who got hit, no matter how innocent my friend is, his lisense may be revoked and matters could get much, much worse because the driver is always the one blamed. Hai. And it had to happen on his birthday. How suay can one get? Just hope everything goes well.

Right now iam amusing myself by looking out my window because i can see the ndp parade for swiss cottage sec. HAHA. Watching the students singing "this is home, truly...." with the uniform group people waving thier hands like retards amuses me to no end. But still, watching them gives me a jolt of nostagia. I miss secondary school days man, where problems are trivial, fun is boundless and everything(almost) is innocent. Forward 4 years and its a whole different story. Peter Pan is a lucky ma'fucker, na mean? Peace.

slow trotting pig machine

2007-08-07T20:13:00.000+08:00

Life's been pretty mundane recently and it's all on me.

(I decided before posting that i was gonna post 10 words or less. This one in brackets obviously doesn't count)

fur burgers

2007-08-06T23:28:00.000+08:00

I have been quite down on my luck recently. Nothing has been going well for me in all sense of the world. And it started as soon as my mom forced me to do some buddhist stuff and put money in a hongbao on that day between 5 and 7am in the morning. It was apparently for luck and peace. The IRONY. Now iam not exaactly a "pantang" (superstitious) person and the only reason why i put the money into those red sachets was because i was forced. But iam seriously considering taking the money out to dispel my bad luck. Haha.

My NS letter is still not sent to me yet. Great. More bad luck.

rosebud even!

2007-08-05T12:23:00.000+08:00

Heavens to Murgatroid!

Hung with homies on fridays at Wala Wala where this live band EIC or something was playing. Result: loads of beer drinking, iffy gyrations, alcohol induced actions and shameless camwhoring. Shizzle to the izzle dope.

Mood was dampened abit near the end though when i got a call from someone who accused me of something i did not do. Why must you be so paranoid? Bahhhh.

Community shield later! Chelsea vs Man United! No prizes for guessing who iam rooting for. And i just realised something. All of chelsea's rival's has something to do with asses and things that come out of asses. For instance, Man-ure (man united), Liver-POO and ARSE-nal.
So apt. HAHA.

3070

2007-08-03T11:48:00.000+08:00

Hi all. Starscream Neo has infiltrated my computarr and put it outta commission for like a week in an attempt to get me to settle my pressing issues. Luckily, Shawn Neo, that is yours truly, has manage to defeat him and is now back in full, procrastinating form. Starscream, i know you want the best for me, but i can settle my own problems, homie.

I am not demented.

Ok so for the past week where i have not been into cyberspace, ive' been pretty much doing stuff normal people do. You know, eating cotton candy dipped in green tea, sleeping at 5am and waking up at 5pm, unintentional joyriding in friend's car in the wee hours of the night, accusing trees of being lackadasical. Just the stuff normal people do. Iam a boring person. I bore people. I had it up to here with cretins who drool and whose eyes roll up into their heads whenever i talk to them. Am i that boring? Shit, i needa a new gimmick, like body piercings or outlandish clothes or brightly covered hair. Oh wait, the youths of today hanging at like far east or whatever have already done that. Why should i jump on the freaking bandwagon when i don't give a tardmonkey's ass? Iam more suited to the ah-pek lifestyle, hanging at kopi-tiams, shaking my leg, drinking yuan-yang and scolding vulgarities while going wee-woo-weet at pretty young thangs. Hai.

Iam tired. Sleep (:

( here, have a corndog. why thank you my spiffiness.)

greetings, world

2007-07-27T04:35:00.000+08:00

SHAWN NEO IS A EFFING R-TARD WHO PROCRASTINATES AND SLACKS WAY TOO MUCH. HE HAS ALOT OF ISSUES TO SETTLE BUT HIS LAZINESS AND ATTITUDE MAKE HIM SUSCEPTIBLE TO NOT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT, PREFERING TO PUSH THE CHORES TO A "LATER DATE". IF YOU SEE THIS LITTLE PROCRASTINATING PISSANT, PLEASE SLAP SOME SENSE INTO HIM. OR EVEN BETTER, JUST SLAP HIM IN THE NUTS.

- starscream neo, the alter-ego.

big L be fucking with more keys than a janitor

2007-07-25T17:44:00.000+08:00

One of my friends say iam a effing r-tard (though this are not the exact words) for not going for some girl ( who is incidentally his friend) who for some weird reason is interested in me. He then told me, "eh, once you get into army, you'll be kicking yourself for not acting that time." Whatever la. To get into a relationship just for the sake of having one is brackish and lame la. I find it troubling that some people have to be in a relationship all the time, like they will die if they are single. But hey i guess it boils down to personality and choice. So i shouldn't hate on them.

Might be hitting zouk later with some of my niggas but iam afraid it will be super packed and the queue would be anaconda esque cause its mambo jamboooo tonight.